Stressssssss .... man i learn so much about myself dealing with this fucker.... I sec I go from wanting to cry and my head exploding to rewording my thoughts and taking all my power back and leaving out the unnecessary. He is where I learned how to hold emotions>feeling so hurt and strong about something 1 sec then completely not caring the next < who does that??!! I do.... (This is me venting btw) Im disconnected with myself b/c so often I put how I really feel on reserve and life is so real, I rarely remember to go back to it. It's a problem, really. That's why I say you can't read into what I say b/c it's either how I want to feel but won't allow myself to OR it's really how I feel but it won't last b/c I don't wanna accept it.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
An Email to a faraway close friend
Here's an email that I wrote to my homeboy a few days ago in a moment of rage...
Stressssssss .... man i learn so much about myself dealing with this fucker.... I sec I go from wanting to cry and my head exploding to rewording my thoughts and taking all my power back and leaving out the unnecessary. He is where I learned how to hold emotions>feeling so hurt and strong about something 1 sec then completely not caring the next < who does that??!! I do.... (This is me venting btw) Im disconnected with myself b/c so often I put how I really feel on reserve and life is so real, I rarely remember to go back to it. It's a problem, really. That's why I say you can't read into what I say b/c it's either how I want to feel but won't allow myself to OR it's really how I feel but it won't last b/c I don't wanna accept it.
Stressssssss .... man i learn so much about myself dealing with this fucker.... I sec I go from wanting to cry and my head exploding to rewording my thoughts and taking all my power back and leaving out the unnecessary. He is where I learned how to hold emotions>feeling so hurt and strong about something 1 sec then completely not caring the next < who does that??!! I do.... (This is me venting btw) Im disconnected with myself b/c so often I put how I really feel on reserve and life is so real, I rarely remember to go back to it. It's a problem, really. That's why I say you can't read into what I say b/c it's either how I want to feel but won't allow myself to OR it's really how I feel but it won't last b/c I don't wanna accept it.
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I commend you for exposing that oh so fragile part of you. I feel the same way at times.
ReplyDeleteWell THANKS Ms Trish... I appreciate it
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