THE PREFACE

*Sighhhhhhh*
I guess once I start this, I'll have to follow through, huh? Intimidating but nothing I can't handle. It's been said to me time and time again that I should start a blog. (Idk y) At first, it was suggested by my boyfriend (who is the father of my 3yr old Son aka my Ex as of Aug 09 but that's another entry) and at that time, I thought, Im a stay at home Mom with 1 or 2 friends that I barely see, live in a city that Im still not familiar with and no life. What do I "blog" about? Just didn't make sense then. Though Im still lost on the meaning of a blog >is it nothing more than a journal entry or is it supposed to have an actual purpose? Are we healing the world with our blogs or is it where needy people looking for attention who have nothing better to do, feed us all their bullshit with what they did for the day or their new addition to their family of pets or their new love interests?< (Why do I feel like Im pretending to be a journalist??) The purpose of this Preface was to inform you, the reader, (if I ever get any) MY purpose. Now that I live 600 miles away from my Son and his insanely vindictive Dad, I see a purpose for me to blog. So yes, this includes me in the rankings of the bs bloggers who spill all their business. One thing straight tho, (<*thinks 2 self, I don't have to use proper grammar here do I?*) I was NEVER one to tell all. Im a fairly secretive person but I thought this would help me learn how to express myself again. I was in a 4yr relationship where I was told to "pretend to be in love" so I've become a bit disconnected with not only my real feelings (and how to express them) but the real Me as well. Soooooo this blog is also about the transition of myself. My growth as a woman, from making the hardest decision to leave my Prince behind in a place where I was unhappy and unfulfilled, lost most of my self esteem, lost my direction and passion in my interests and goals and now not having anything to my name to, hopefully, the woman I know I should be. And of course, everything in between. Its kinda strange having this creative space. Its like having your own room and being able to do with it what you wish. Have to admit its a nice feeling. My buried box of creativity has been locked for quite some time now. Since this is the place where I'll do nothing but vent and, if I get any readers, unveil what I've learned about myself, Im going to do this in pure *name* fashion; RANDOMLY! Since my enlisting into Motherhood, I've come to know that being a Woman is indeed not as easy as it looks. We deal with a ton of shit emotionally and physically *Im having dejavu* that's hard to comprehend. I've heard many stories where I wouldn't even have a clue how to show empathy if I weren't a Mother (which is why most Men are clueless). So with that being said, I do hope (Idk how) that this may help someone like Me. I should have tons of stuff to say b/c Im not, by any means, the typical girl but we'll see. I have no clue what Im doing! Idc if you don't like it. Fuck you, its my blog spot, not yours.

Fyi>I've started this transition a few months ago so there's things I'll have to fill in but if you're smart, you'll be able to follow me.
Here goes nothing....